Ok last post was a bit depressing so I need to say a few silly things about my little lady.
The other day we were at the Rock Bottom Brewery with her grandma Rita Ann and great aunt Mariann. E was saying "Woo Hoo, woo hoo" she then said "You know why I am saying woo hoo? It's because my lemonade is so good, woo hoo woo hoo"
Today she and I went to Menards. When I would ask her to do something she would say "Whatever" I realized it wasn't to be snotty though. So I said to her "Eislynn, do you realize that it's not nice to say "whatever" like that and it's kind of rude to say that to people?" She said "Oh, I thought it was nice to say" (innocent look on her face) Me: "no, it's rude to say that to people when they ask you to do something" Her: "Oh, ok mommy I sorry" Later in the day I was shampooing the carpet in the living room and asked her to stay out for a few minutes. She said "Yeah, whatever"..thought about it for a second and said "Oh yeah that's rude to say whatever I sorry mommy I sorry, that's rude to say whatever I won't say it to you anymore"
The other day in Colorado she was SO excited because we told her her godmother was coming to Mariann's house. She was just giddy! Any noise she heard she would run to the door and scream "My godmother is here my godmother is here" She couldn't wait to see if she had wings and ask her if she could do any magic. Finally her godmother arrived! She absolutely FLEW to the door. She jumped off a bench and just ran screaming "MY GODMOTHER IS HERE MY GODMOTHER IS HERE" She stopped when she saw Laura and said "Hi" The rest of the weekend she was quite happy to be around her godmother haha. It was fun.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
One year
Today would have been my grandpas 91st birthday. He died 2 months ago almost exactly. I miss him like crazy. That's an understatement. I knew he wouldn't live much longer but at the same time it seemed like he would be here forever. So many people say things like "wow he really lived a long life" and he did. A long and a good one. However, I only got to be part of that for just short of 26 years! That is not a very long time! I hope to have a life like my grandpa. When he was asked what he would change about his life if he could go back and do something different...his reply was "nothing". His life was exactly how it should be.
Today has been kind of hard. Thinking so much of him. Also, it was Easter of last year that we started trying for baby number two. Here I am a year later with 3 losses. It's crazy. Definitely not what I expected. I feel like 2 of the losses were meant to be though. Had I not lost them I wouldn't have been able to spend the time in North Dakota with my grandpa in his last days. I would have either had a 2 week old and not wanted to fly home with a 2 year old and newborn or I would have been too pregnant to fly. I am so glad I was there. When I got to the farm I gave my grandpa a hug. He wasn't doing well. He did manage to say "this is so beautiful". Wow, that was hard to type out. I spent the next few days humbled by the experience and all that was going on. One day grandpa told me it was nice to have his great granddaughter around to entertain everyone. Even though he didn't want to go I am pretty sure he knew what was about to happen. One day we both just stared out the window as I held his hand. He said "well Katie, what do you think?" I said "I don't know grandpa" he said "it's not good is it?" I said "No, I don't think so grandpa" I think we both knew what would be happening in the next week or two but we didn't say much about it but that. The last night that I saw him he held my hand so tightly like he didn't want to let it go. So I kept holding it. Part of me wishes I had stayed longer. Held is hand longer, gave him one more hug. However, the rational part of me knows that no matter how long I had been there I will always wish it was more.
Today has been kind of hard. Thinking so much of him. Also, it was Easter of last year that we started trying for baby number two. Here I am a year later with 3 losses. It's crazy. Definitely not what I expected. I feel like 2 of the losses were meant to be though. Had I not lost them I wouldn't have been able to spend the time in North Dakota with my grandpa in his last days. I would have either had a 2 week old and not wanted to fly home with a 2 year old and newborn or I would have been too pregnant to fly. I am so glad I was there. When I got to the farm I gave my grandpa a hug. He wasn't doing well. He did manage to say "this is so beautiful". Wow, that was hard to type out. I spent the next few days humbled by the experience and all that was going on. One day grandpa told me it was nice to have his great granddaughter around to entertain everyone. Even though he didn't want to go I am pretty sure he knew what was about to happen. One day we both just stared out the window as I held his hand. He said "well Katie, what do you think?" I said "I don't know grandpa" he said "it's not good is it?" I said "No, I don't think so grandpa" I think we both knew what would be happening in the next week or two but we didn't say much about it but that. The last night that I saw him he held my hand so tightly like he didn't want to let it go. So I kept holding it. Part of me wishes I had stayed longer. Held is hand longer, gave him one more hug. However, the rational part of me knows that no matter how long I had been there I will always wish it was more.
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