Photo Post

Whoa, lots just happened in a month! Graham was born, we fly to North Dakota for my brother's wedding, Graham was baptized, we flew home again and almost got stuck in Denver, just life. Things are finally slowing down there have been about 100 different blog posts I have thought about writing over the past month. So many emotions and so much going on. Instead I am going to just post lots of pictures. :)

Love these two with all my heart


Pure Joy

A love like no other...great grandma


The best friend a girl could have

First easter

baptism blanket made out of his Great Grandma Rose's wedding gown

Baptism

brother's wedding

one of my favorite pics, when I took it my first thought was "God is good" I already knew this but something
about how sweet and innocent the photo is only affirms it. :)

Love:

The quilt his great aunt made for him!

Professional pics:
  
 

Less than 12 hours to go, we've got this.

I just put my "baby" girl to bed as an only child for the last time. So weird. I have been trying not to focus on "lasts" lately and keep in mind all the wonderful "firsts" that are about to come our way instead. I did still soak up every last minute with her though. We read an extra book and talked a few extra minutes. Then I sang her "Night Mantra" by Renee and Jeremy and rubbed her back and belly. Just when I thought she was sleeping she whispered "Sing some more, sing the song about me" which is just the tune of "Left and Leaving" by the weakerthans but with my own words all about how she's such a good/sweet girl. I may have missed my calling as a indie music children's cover writer...or not. She likes it though.


Silly story time. Because the next few weeks are going to take a toll on me physically and mentally I need to record this story so it doesn't get lost in the memories because it's sort of a gem, to me. The other day Eislynn came up to my room and asked me if she could have some gum. She has never had gum. I have told her in the past she couldn't  have it because it would hurt her throat. As I imagine choking is not good for your throat, so this is mostly true! I figured since she is 3 1/2, pretty smart for her age, and with her grandma that sure she could try a piece of gum. I said "Sure, but just so you know you can't swallow it. You have to chew it and then when you are done you spit it out." She looked at me all serious and said "Oh, that's too hard I HAVE to swallow" I said "Well you can't swallow the gum but you can swallow in general" she said "Oh no that's too hard, remember you don't let me have gum, I don't want gum anymore." Then she thought for a moment and said, in her cute way with hand gestures "MAYYYYYBE I will chew gum after I go see like a gum teacher?" I laughed and told her there isn't such a person and that her grandma or I could most certainly show her how to chew gum. She said "No, I will just wait till I am older and have a gum teacher. Not a teacher made out of gum, but a teacher that teaches gum." She is outrageous. She keeps us laughing all the time. It is so crazy to me that tomorrow I will have another child and that I will love them and think they are just as awesome as she is because she definitely sets the bar high. I am pretty excited.

One month

One month from today is the big day! Unless he decides otherwise we will meet out little man exactly one month from today. I am at that point where my belly is so big it's humorous and apparently my dryer is shrinking all of my clothes. I should get that thing checked out. It only seems to be shrinking my stuff. The little guy is still really active. It's so weird because E wasn't really even half as active as he is. She moved, but he is crazy.

Today is Valentine's Day. Last year's Valentine's day was HARD. It was my grandpas funeral. It was beautiful in that it is a day for love and my grandparents were the perfect example of love. It is a day to be with the ones you love and we were surrounded with loved ones. Saying good bye is still very hard. This year I wanted to have a happier day. E and I went to my doctor appointment and then out for lunch and frozen yogurt. My doctor appt was long but E was awesome the whole time. Baby is measuring in the 60 percentile with an estimated birth weight of 8 lbs. He is measuring a week a head so 36 weeks instead of 35. Considering he will be taken out at 39 weeks being a week a head is much better than behind.

Thanks to some great friends Cole and I got to go out the other night for my birthday/Valentine's Day. We went to a place we hadn't been before, The Rythm Kitchen, it was delicious. I had a salmon blt and now I just want another one hehe :). Today C text me and asked if Eislynn had given me anything special for Valentine's Day. She hadn't, infact she told me she forgot to get me something. A few minutes after I got that text she came running screaming HAPPY VALENTINE"S DAY and had a fake rose with glitter and a bag of m&m's. She told me it was hidden under her bed. She was so proud. She got to pick it out herself. She loves to have surprises for people. She has something for my birthday tomorrow and if I mention my birthday she gives Cole a silly look or whispers "don't tell her we got anything". It's adorable.

35 weeks

We finished off the day by making homemade pizza for supper. We have decided to call it "punch" pizza because you have to knead the dough or "punch it" to make it tasty :)

baby's name

Picking out Eislynn's name seemed much easier than this baby's name. We liked it, it just seemed to click, and that was that.It has fit her from the moment she was born. Maybe I just have an easier time with girl names. Eislynn would be Eislynn or Brynn. End of discussion. No trips to the baby name section of the book store needed :). No pouring over name lists on the internet. This time however, we are having a bit more trouble picking a name. Eislynn is really stuck on a name she made up, Bayna, so I wanted to give her some other options to think about. Up till this point we haven't really said the names we have in mind in front of her because we don't want her telling everyone. She picked one name from the list I gave her and kind of stuck with it. She has came up with a few extra's like Papa wahpa but nothing serious. Once again this is a story I felt the need to record:

Last night we were skyping with her grandma and she tried to blurt out the baby's name. Again he doesn't really have one yet it's just the one she thinks we have decided on. I covered her mouth and it didn't get out :) When we were going to bed I told her you really shouldn't tell people that your brother's name is Bayna (changing names for this story in case we use one :)) She said "But I really like that name, he will like it" I said, "Yes, but we haven't decided what his name will be for sure yet. What if he is born and he doesn't look like a Bayna he looks like a Norton (again changing the real name)." She looked at my like I had just said the silliest thing, reached over, pinched my nose, and said "OH mom he won't look like that name! He will look like a naked baby" Touche my child touche.

cuddly nap time

I am typing with some hand and with my phone so please forgive errors. I feel the need to record this moment. E was rather cranky and I insisted we rock together. This is something we haven't done in months. She doesn't take naps anymore. By the glow of our Christmas tree I rocked my little girl to sleep while we listened to the Sujfan Stevens Holiday Pandora station. Normally during nap time I would try to get a few things done and have some "me" time. Today I  am going to sit here in my comfy chair cuddling my girl in front of the Christmas tree, because I know I may never get another moment like this one.

growing up

I know I have already posted about E and what she wants to be when she grows up, but this story deserves another post about it. I want to remember it always.

She is always thinking and talking about what she wants to be when she grows up. Most recently it was a doctor. She will talk about how you have to go to school and teachers will teach you how to be a doctor. She is very interested in how that all works and how you become one. She talked about it all the time. That was until one particular conversation we had.
I was telling her about how she is my good girl and should be my little girl forever and ever. She said she will be my little girl then she will grow up and be a doctor and then she will be my little girl again. I didn't realize it would shatter her world but I told her she wouldn't get to be a little girl again but she would always be my girl. She got the biggest sad eyes, her little lip stuck out, and she looked so sad. Her lip trembled and she asked "I won't get to be little again?" I said "No, you only get older you don't get younger again." She cried and through her tears she looked around the room and said "But I will miss my toys so much" This wasn't one of those times when she cries for some odd reason and it's sort of a tantrum and not adorable. This was cute and sort of actually sad! I had completely rocked her world. I tried to soothe her. I told her about how she would maybe have a little girl of her own and she would get to buy her toys to play with. She thought I meant Cole and I would get a new little girl and that girl would play with her toys and that really got her upset! I did some more soothing. By the time she went to bed (of course this all happened at bed time) she was satisfied knowing that mommy and daddy play with her toys and we are grown ups so she won't be banned from all toys simply because she has grown up.
That all happened a week or two ago. I didn't really think much of it but now I realize she hasn't really talked much about what she will be when she grows up anymore. Today when we were talking to her uncle Andrew I told her to tell him what she wants to be when she grows up. She looked at my seriously and said "No mom remember the other day? I don't want to grow up anymore" I LOVE THAT GIRL. I am totally fine with her not growing up for a long time. :)

Whoooah we're half way there

Today, because my math isn't so good, I have been thinking about how crazy it is that I am half way through this pregnancy. The chorus to the song "Living on a Prayer" has been in my head since yesterday. At some point today I realized a week from today is actually half way but that's not important. I have still been thinking about it quite a bit. Today I am 18 weeks and 4 days along. I am counting 19 weeks and 4 days as half way since I will have to have a c-section at 39 weeks. Which should be March 14th if all goes as planned.

I have felt the baby move a few times a day over the past week or so. It's such a crazy thing. Soon these little kicks will get much stronger and be more frequent. I still have thoughts from time to time that this could all be taken away at any moment, this is true though for any pregnant women regardless of her history. All my losses were very early and I have only made it this far with Eislynn and my current pregnancy. The other night I had the first twinge of "it's not supposed to be like this" that I have had this pregnancy. Until now I have just been grateful, so so very grateful, for each day that I have made it through. The other night though after giving myself  particularly painful shot I looked at my bruised up belly and let out a few tears. It was a fleeting moment of feeling sorry for myself but it was still real. I know many women have had to go through worse things to get/stay pregnant or have not been able to have children at all. I do feel blessed that I have been given this gift but sometimes those shots hurt and lately they have been bruising more than usual. I just have to believe that in  just a few months I will be holding my new baby and all this pain will be just a memory. It will become a story of love and endurance; the story of a baby who was very much so wanted and loved before HE ever arrived. :)