the beginning

For most women the first few weeks of pregnancy is a fun blissful time. They get to think of how they will tell their family. Will they come up with something cute and clever? Wait for the right moment? I know this because even after 2 miscarriages I still had hopes of doing this. I had it all planned out. Then came my 3rd miscarriage.

This time around I have already told a handful of people because I am hoping the extra prayers will help us out. They might. For me the first week of pregnancy will include 22 needles. 22 in one week. I will have 7 shots of lovenox, 2 betas drawn, 1 two hour IV of intralipids, 12 needles at acupuncture. My arm is pretty gross looking already! Yesterdays intralipid appointment was kind of brutal on my arm. They couldn't get the IV to drip quite right and did alot of pushing and maneuvering. If this pregnancy works out I am definitely not going to give the credit to the intralipids however at this point I will try just about anything. So here I am in my tiny little cubby at the hospital. For some reason there is no cell reception or internet access in this little hole of a room.

 When I was younger I never imagined that this is what it would be like to have a baby. Yet I know I do have it easier than some people. The clinic I go to is usually pretty empty but this week they are "in cycle" meaning they are doing alot of IVF this week. So there were alot of couples there when I was there. It was kind of sad. If you go to the OB or any other doctor you don't know why everyone is in the waiting room or what they were being told in that finance room off to the right. At the fertility clinic we are all there for the same reason. We all want desperately to bring a new life into this world and we haven't been able to do that on our own.